SANTIAGO Read online

  SANTIAGO

  Zibarna Books is part of Zibarna, Inc.

  For more information please

  visit www.zibarna.com.

  Copyright © 2022 by Eduardo Ríos Lasso

  All rights reserved. Thank you for buying an authorized copy of this book and complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or transmitting it in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the publisher's prior written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  For permission requests, please get in touch with [email protected]

  Book Design by Ivica Jandrijevic

  Cover Illustration by Henry Relf

  Photograph of the Author © Ana María Arévalo Gosen

  ISBN 978-9962-17-174-4 (Paperback)

  978-9962-17-179-9 (eBook)

  A record of this book is available in the National Library of Panama.

  First Paperback Edition. June 2022

  This is a work of fiction. All characters in this publication are fictitious. Any resemblance to a living or dead person, a business, or companies is entirely coincidental.

  Contents

  1. Panama City, Panama

  2. New York, United States of America

  3. Lisbon, Portugal

  4. Barcelona and Bilbao, Spain

  5. Paris, France

  6. Amsterdam, The Netherlands

  7. Frankfurt, Heidelberg and the Palatinate, Germany

  8. Budapest, Hungary

  9. Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina

  10. Istanbul, Turkey

  11. Bangkok, Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai, Thailand

  12. Siem Reap und Phnom Penh, Cambodia

  13. Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

  14. Yogyakarta and Bali, Indonesia

  15. Panama City, Panama

  Acknowledgment

  To the well-traveled, those who dream of traveling, and the new generation of travelers coming up — who are eager to see our world through different eyes — in these turbulent times.

  “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

  —Marcel Proust

  1

  Panama City, Panama

  Santiago never imagined that clicking a mouse could have the power to change his life...

  As long as he did nothing?

  He knew he was still safe. Still himself. Still in control.

  But what if I don’t do it? he wondered. My life will never change. Not here. Not ever.

  His throat tightened with nerves as he stared down the oval-shaped orb on his wooden desk. Life-altering decisions were never Santiago’s strong suit. He felt like throwing his computer out of the window. What if I fail or if they laugh at me? What if I die in a terrorist attack?

  The possibilities were endless.

  Besides a short family road trip to Costa Rica as a kid and occasionally visiting relatives in the countryside, Santiago was tethered to his hometown, Panama City, his entire life; he’d even gone to law school just a few miles away. Why had he never left home? That was easy.

  Santiago felt his chest heaving—pulse-pounding anxiety whenever he had to stand up to answer a question in front of his class, and he routinely broke into cold sweats when ordering a coffee at the local café—so traveling always felt intimidating and unreachable to him.

  Yet, it had been his lifelong dream to see the world. Still, he hesitated. Most people don’t follow their dreams. Why am I so special?

  A neighbor of Santiago, also born in Panama City, liked to tell him he stayed at home for a good reason. “I followed my dreams,” he’d say. “They didn’t involve traveling like yours, but it didn’t work out anyway. So, I got married, had kids, settled down; I’m happy, Santiago, you will be too.”

  Although that decision is perfectly fine, Santiago wasn’t so sure.

  He suspected that the truth was most people don’t even try to follow their dreams.

  He stared at his quivering index finger hovering over the mouse.

  I will explode if I don’t try. Just do it., What are you afraid of, Santiago? Do it. Now.

  His index finger didn’t budge, frozen mid-air in the shape of a question mark.

  He slowly lowered his finger in defeat.

  Santiago knew what he was afraid of. People. Crowds. Places. Planes, trains, buses. His anxiety had been a constant since he was a teenager. It had kept him living a hermetic, basically solitary life. He only had a few friends and had never had a girlfriend. Painfully shy, he yearned to love someone profoundly and live an adventurous life free from the shackles of his anxiety.

  He just had to click that mouse.

  “A trip abroad will push you past your fears, Santiago. Be brave. Just do it. I will come with you if it helps you break out of your shell.” Laura had assured him last week at the café down the street.

  He was amazed that Laura would offer to travel with him. Who was he anyway?

  Sometimes he felt like the invisible man.

  Are you a man? Santiago berated himself.

  He stared down at his mouse.

  It was winning the battle of wills.

  He sighed and looked into the soulful brown eyes of his best friend, caressing him between his floppy ears. “Ah, Luigi, the first step is always the hardest, eh?” he said to his ten-year-old Dachshund. Seeming to understand the stakes of the moment, Luigi stood up on his two legs and barked, tail wagging as if cheering him on. Santiago nervously threw a tennis ball across his bedroom for Luigi to fetch, then gazed out of his window at the quarter moon sagging low in the clear night sky. He imagined he was an ancient explorer staring out to sea before embarking on a grand journey.

  They had courage. So do I.

  Despite the late hour, he sipped his tepid black coffee and took a deep breath. It was time to take a leap of faith, the first step in any hero’s journey.

  “I am doing this. For Dad…For Lucia…For Laura…For me.”

  Maybe after this trip, I can work as a lawyer and not just do the tedious paperwork at a law firm.

  Santiago only entered law school because of his good grades, but he never really felt he had the social qualities or passion for becoming one. Yet he still finished.

  He slowly lifted his index finger. It seemed to hang in the air for an eternity. Then in slow motion, he watched his finger lower itself down onto his computer’s mouse. He heard a mechanical clicking sound. Suddenly, his computer screen changed color. Then.

  Nothing…Was it locked up?

  It was the longest fifteen seconds of his life. A small plane icon appeared in the center and swirled, indicating the server was receiving the data.

  Little by little, a confirmation number emerged on his computer screen.

  Heart pounding, his eyes danced across his itinerary; the dates were correct, the flight times as well, and the price was optimal. He opened another tab to glance at his bank account balance. It had dropped considerably in an instant. It didn’t matter.

  The deal was done. He was getting out. In just a click, the world had gotten much smaller. He felt no place was beyond his reach anymore.

  Santiago let out a laugh as endorphins rushed through his body. He found himself jumping up and down in his room. Luigi joined in, hopping up on his hind legs, celebrating with him. All smiles, Santiago scooped him up in his arms. Luigi licked his cheek.

  “Something’s telling you that you’re not going to see me for some time, right?”

  Luigi barked. He knew.

  Dogs always do.

  Santiago felt his body relax as he fell back onto the same bed he had slept in all of his life. He lay there a lon
g while trying to sleep, looking out his window at the moon rising in the starry sky. Goodbye car...goodbye work…goodbye routine and the little indulgences that have kept me going...goodbye Laura…Laura...what about Laura?

  Tossing and turning, he reached over to his nightstand and picked up his cell phone. He texted the woman who’d become his best friend over the past year. “You awake?”

  Not a minute went by until his phone pinged. “What’s up?” she texted back.

  Santiago opened the message, surprised to find Laura still awake after midnight.

  “Can I call you?” His fingers typed at lightning speed.

  “Are you in jail or something?” Laura wrote along with a flurry of lol emojis.

  “They gave me one phone call. They beat me senseless.”

  “No! Are you okay?”

  “It’s not safe, the guard at the entrance is still looking at me strangely. He and his police dog. I just barely escaped life imprisonment.”

  “What? What were you doing on the street so late?”

  “I’d better call to explain. Can you talk?”

  Laughing silently, Santiago hit Call on his phone. Laura’s voice picked up. She sounded sleepy. “What have you done?”

  Not wanting to wake his parents, Santiago laughed quietly, keeping the suspense going.

  “It’s another one of your jokes, right?”

  “Laura,” Santiago whispered. “You’re not going to believe what I’ve done…”

  “Spit it out, I’m tired.”

  “I finally did it,” he said with a hushed tone of excitement.

  “You did whaaat?” she replied, sensing something good had happened.

  “I just bought my plane tickets.”

  Santiago heard Laura squeal through his phone.

  “You just made me go deaf!” Santiago laughed, rubbing his ear.

  “You’ve got to tell me everything! I thought you’d wait a little longer!”

  “There’s no need,” Santiago chuckled. “The prices weren’t going to be any better, and I read all about the airline before buying them, I also checked the satisfaction rate with lost luggage, and accident statistics. It’s very unlikely my flight will be canceled at the last minute.”

  “I see you did an entire investigation.”

  Laura sounded impressed. Santiago was not the most organized person but could be quite ambitious and competitive when he had a goal rooted deep inside of him.

  “Well, when is it?” she asked.

  “Just shy of four months. Enough time to organize the rest.”

  “If you’d told me earlier, I could’ve helped.”

  “I know, that’s your thing.”

  “Good luck trying to explain it to your family,” Laura laughed.

  “I’ll deal with them later. Tonight, I’m just going to feel happy.”

  “You were very decisive Santiago…what a cool guy you are. I know… You doubt yourself too much…You don’t see how lovely you are.” She added.

  Santiago felt Laura’s admiration over the phone.

  He blushed. Unsure how to respond, he stammered, “And for me, that’s a great achievement!” Santiago felt his anxiety grip him as he stammered, “I’m like the wind that’s blown from one part of the world to another.”

  “…You didn’t ask if I wanted to come?” Laura teased.

  “Oh, uh, well of course, if you want…Uh.”

  “Tell me all about it tomorrow, Magellan. Must rest,” Laura said, losing her battle against sleepiness. “I’m proud of you.”

  “That means a lot, Laura.”

  Santiago went to bed with a perma-grin on his face.

  The next morning, with the sun already high above the bay, Santiago closed a travel book he had checked out from the library of his university, which had many photos of European cities he planned to visit. He looked down at his phone and scratched his head. Laura was quiet. He’d been calling her all morning to continue their conversation. But his calls went to voicemail.

  Had she turned off her phone? She never did that.

  Maybe she’s at the gym as usual and forgot her phone?

  Santiago felt a little distressed but let it go as the aroma of fresh coffee filled his mother’s kitchen. Luigi came bounding in from the backyard and leaped toward the table, throwing himself at his owner’s feet, expecting a rubbing. Santiago petted the most spoiled family member while writing an itinerary for visiting his favorite world capitals with his free hand. He had been secretly saving up for this trip for years. His parents knew he was saving but did not know for what.

  Santiago was finally going to step foot in New York, Europe, and Asia. The ticket he bought had three major stops, from one continent to another. But he had a lot of free time between each one, which gave him the necessary flexibility to visit several cities and countries in the region. Santiago adored Asian food. Sampling the world’s fare was what excited him the most, besides the spectacular landscapes he hoped to see, of course. Luigi groaned from the lack of attention.

  “I know, Luigi,” Santiago said. “I’ve been away for a few days before, my friend. You’ll get by without me. Don’t worry, buddy. Mom and grandma will take great care of you.”

  Luigi tilted his head, looking at him carefully. Santiago was convinced that the animal understood him. Luigi seemed to be asking him, “Why do you want to travel?”

  Santiago thought about it.

  Maybe because I don’t want to make the same mistake as my father?

  Dad had opportunities when he was younger to study abroad because of his good grades in school, but he didn’t go because he feared the unknown. Or perhaps because he didn’t want to leave his comfort zone. What would’ve happened if grandfather had encouraged him to travel? Unfortunately, he is not here anymore. What would’ve happened if he accepted those scholarships? How would his life be different? Or better said…our lives. That is what I am going to find out for myself, Luigi.

  Luigi barked approval like he was reading Santiago’s mind.

  Despite everything, Santiago didn’t judge his father, David. He was a good guy, a successful car mechanic who did his job passionately. He did the best he could to give his only son a good life.

  Santiago was grateful.

  “Though, you know, Luigi,” Santiago continued, “Whenever one of our foreign neighbors passes through, and they tell me stories about their homes, I yearn to know more.”

  Santiago wanted to taste their food, see how they dressed, and see how their families treated each other. He always wondered, are places like the United States or Spain the same as they’re portrayed on television, or social media? He had to see it with his own eyes. “Whatever my wanderlust,” he looked into his dog’s eyes. “It’s something that’s stronger than me.”

  Luigi seemed to understand the appeal of travel now. He barked approval.

  “Santiago!” boomed his father’s voice from outside. Father. Santiago felt his old friend, anxiety, whisper in his ear. Does he want my help? He’s never called me like that. Maybe he found out about my plane ticket? Or worse, that I’m planning to sell my car to fund part of my trip? It’s an old car. Should I tell him now?

  “What do you think, Luigi?” Luigi licked his face, easing his tension. “Coming!” Santiago yelled, staring at his furry friend. “I have to get out of this routine. See things from another perspective. This will transform my life, don’t you think?”

  “Hurry up, son!” his father shouted.

  “See? I have to hurry. If I wait, life is going to impose its plan. It’s time to create my own.” Santiago replied, “I’m on my way!” He whispered to Luigi. “But not to where he thinks.”

  Santiago put on a wide-brimmed cap to protect himself from the mid-day sun and ran out to the backyard. He found his father in the garage, and he was not holding a hammer or working on a car. He was holding his phone instead. His dad was wearing a serious look.

  “What was so urgent?” asked Santiago.

  His fath
er paused. “…Santiago,” he said, at last, wiping sweat from his brow. “That was Alberto, our neighbor. It seems that Laura, your friend, is in the hospital.”

  Santiago’s smile vanished. “…Hospital?”

  Santiago immediately phoned Cristina, Laura’s mother.

  “Hello, Mrs. Cristina, this is Santiago. What happened to Laura?”

  “We’re not sure. Early in the morning, she felt very ill. Her body was hurting so much she could hardly move. We were scared, so we brought her to the hospital.”

  “Can I come and see her?”

  “I know she would be happy to see you, Santiago.”

  Santiago hung up and grabbed his wallet and phone, and hurried out down the path to the bus stop. While he waited, he thought about last night and felt guilty. This sounds serious. No wonder she was awake so late. Why didn’t she mention that she was hurting?

  Did she not want to spoil my moment?

  When the bus finally arrived, it was unusually crowded for Sundays in Panama City. He avoided using his car because it had to be in the best possible shape to sell it soon. As Santiago stepped on board, he felt his usual wave of anxiety and saw all of the strange faces staring back at him. Stay calm, you’re the Invisible Man. You just think they are looking at you. He focused on his surroundings. The bus felt sticky and humid and smelled of perfume from the dozen women seated with their purses and bibles on their laps on their way home from church. Feeling claustrophobic, Santiago tried to move to the rear, where it was more comfortable and closer to the exit—but a middle-aged woman with a voluminous body in a metallic red dress blocked his way. After catching her eye with a smile, he made a discreet gesture with his head as if he could move her out of his path. The woman in the red dress met his gaze, pressed her lips together in a grimace, and, tilting her face abruptly, made it clear that she had no intention of moving.

  Santiago sighed as he clung meekly to a pole in the middle of the crowded bus for the rest of the bumpy ride, counting all of the billboards they passed, trying not to have a panic attack. His shyness had won out again. He knew he had a lot of work to do to survive his trip. Besides planning, I must challenge my shyness often for the next four months. How will I react if the same thing happens while traveling through another country? I will work on using my body language to communicate. It’s easier than speaking when I feel anxious.